52 Card Pick-Up

To say it's been awhile would be an understatement.  To say I've had nothing to write about, a lie.  So here's the troof.  I'm overwhelmed, ya'll.  I missed my "4 month" post (with my super cute image, i may just stick in somewhere else because it's been waiting to be used for months and months now) and had completely kicked wedding to-dos to the curb.  That's not me!

Then I started to notice something, that lovely foundation I had built to keep me on task and help make my life easier right about now, started to crack. Not only that... time didn't just march on, it sucker punched me in the face and pushed me into the mud.  How am I sitting here with only 107 days until W-day.  107 days!

I could ramble on about the never ending Hydra... but i'll be honest, it looks about the same as it has the last few times.  Some jobs just can't get done early.  I could also tell you about the awesome meeting I had with my Aunt and DOC (for the Church) this past weekend, and all the fun festivities that are in the works... but, well.  My heart isn't in it.

I've been hit with a series of unfortunate events.  Nothing that is a total fiasco, yet anyway, but enough things that are making me want to bash my head into a wall v. picking up the phone (it's never good news!!!).  My wedding planning has turned into a game of 52 card pick up.  Do you remember this game?  When you're a kid the adult makes it sound so fun, and the next thing you know you're surround by cards (some still flying in the air - maybe in your hair) and you have to pick them all up.  wtf? this is not a game, this isn't fun at all!!!

Sorry, let me stick to the highlights - first, my caterer went awol.  It appears we're back on track, but it was touch and go for awhile.

The whopper is I've lost my officiant.  This is not to say we were out for a walk and I turned my head and he was suddenly kidnapped or something... although it felt a bit like that.   Here's what happened.  He forgot to put us in his calendar, and now he's booked something else. Out of town.

This whole situation has me a little flustered.  I did everything right (almost - but we'll get to that).  I contacted him as soon as we had a date (given his age you could argue this may have been a little early, but oh well.) and he confirmed he was in, so long as he was... around.  When I learned about this little mishap, I contacted him immediately, and to say that he was... i don't know, he wasn't anything more then matter-o-fact.  He has something else going on, and I should contact X, Y or Z.  No, let me see what I can do, I did promise you ages before any of this was in the works... nope, just a "all that matters is you getting married and starting a new life..." right. yes. let's patronize me please.

*insert long drawn out sigh here*  This is not a huge deal in the broad spectrum of things, I know this.  However, given the history with this particular person, it's hard to let go of.  Especially when my inner two year old is shouting "I was first, and you are the one who messed up so why must I be punished?" (you have to admit, that's good logic - even for a two year old.)

Here's what I did wrong.  I assumed that when people said they had talked to him and had been communicating with him regarding my wedding, this meant he was well aware of the date.  I should have checked in months ago and just followed up, made sure I was still on his radar. Like I have with every other vendor (and which I am doing again after the new year).  I know this.  I do this at work, every, single, day.  So frustrating.

Yes, there are other options, but those people are essentially strangers to me, which makes me a little... underwhelmed? uncomfortable? sad? yes, yes and yes.  We have one potential, but there are a lot of contingencies so it's not feeling like much of a possibility at the moment.  This possibility would be someone that played an integral part in the preparation required for our wedding - and thus someone both Will and I are comfortable with.  This seems like a great trade off.  If, given a series of events out of my control, this cannot be... I will be left with my strangers.  And I will be grateful that I had them to consider, but I will still be sad that even though I did everything right, I didn't win this time.  At least for awhile.

So here I am... 3+ months away from my wedding and the last 15 months of careful and intensive planning is starting not to matter.  The universe has a funny way of reminding you how very little your carefully laid plans matter.  Hopefully, we get all of these kinks out of the way now.  I have a feeling that we're not quite done with the shenanigans yet though - bad news has a way of coming in threes.

I'll keep you posted!  And - next time I'll focus on the good and exciting stuff! Instead of the sad, bad and yucky!

Feeling Centered

Over the last few months, and with an increasing intensity over the last few days, I have become consumed with the need to spruce up our centerpieces.  When we originally saw the wrought iron with crystal embellishment candle holders (hard to explain and I can't get my picture off my phone!) I thought they were absolutely lovely.  Now I look at them and feel that there's *something* missing.  The problem is, I can't figure out what that something is.

The height overall, is decent - not so high you can't see your table mates, not so low they don't have impact.  They go with the overall feel of the venue, but there's some warmth or something that is missing.

This led to a flurry of research *echem* watching bridal shows *echem* which left me even more confused.

If I could have my dream centerpieces, and money was no object, my table would look something like this:

But we have neither the space nor budget for that much decoration.  Or that many flowers.  So, here are some of the other ideas I toyed with:

Submerged Flowers

Maybe with Colored Water???

There is something so lovely about seeing the flowers this way.  Magical and romantic, but maybe too modern for out venue?  And would this work with the wrought iron? There seemed a few too many issues with this idea, so I continued my search.

Candles:

There are actually some truly amazing things that you can do with candles as your centerpiece focus.  I tried to find images where the candles were costars, so to speak.  I love how candlelight adds the romance and easily ties into a vintage feel.  I looked toward the 3rd picture with the mirror bouncing the light back up as good idea of how I could incorporate different size candles with the candelabra thing (maybe it would go where the hydrangeas are), but then I realized It's just all candles, there's no color.  And thats when I got a bit more focused in what I want.  I would love to say it's the first picture in the candle set that set me on track, but it's really what I came across when looking up "Aquarium Gravel."

Yes, this is an odd thing to search when looking for centerpiece inspiration.  However, we recently decided that violet aquarium gravel was the perfect accent piece to another wedding project (more on that to come!) and I thought maybe it could add color sprinkled on the bottom of the candle holder, or on a glass piece like above, or maybe in a vase with water and floating candles.  I was in no way prepared for what I stumbled across.

Mason Jars

It was love at first sight.  Somehow, despite seeing these sorts of arrangements all over the intranet I never thought about this for my own reception.  I'm not sure if I wrote this look off because I had it filed under "shabby chic" in my head and I consider my wedding "vintage romance" or if it was simply because I stopped envisioning flowers playing a major role in our wedding when I picked our venue. For whatever the reason, I didn't see how this could work... until it stole my breath.

The venue would provide us with 2 of the candle holders per circle table, and 3-4 for the rectangle tables.  If I used different size mason jars, and maybe a votive/tealight or two, I could have the varying heights, and add warmth and color to the tables.

There was one other element that really cinched this idea for me.  The vintage handkerchief in that first picture in this grouping.  I had been wanting to find a way to incorporate these, after seeing all the lovely tears of joy and save the dates that had been made with these.  It just wasn't quite the feel we were going for, however, there is something so feminine and lovely about the hankie it never completely left my mind.  If I use is as the base of my arrangement, and then alternate with different combinations of the mason jar arrangements and candleholders, I will have a real cohesive look that still matches the feel of the venue and period, but is a little softer, a little more romantic, and much more me!

The best part is the jars are relatively inexpensive, and with only 3-4 flowers per jar, I wouldn't have to spend an arm and a leg on them.  Candles are easy to buy in bulk, and the hankies could become the centerpiece item guests take home (do people still do that? I remember this from the weddings I went to as a child).  We will have black faux-antique frames that will have the table names in them as well.  I don't think we would need to worry about anything else, but we could always do some petals or maybe even aquarium gravel (haha!) lightly around the bottom just to finish it off.

So what do you think?  Did I find the most perfect centerpiece inspiration or what?

Why We Will NOT Be Having A Dollar Dance

This post is going to be a therapeutic one for me, but is about an issue that has been a huge point of contention between myself, my future husband and our families.  The Dollar Dance.

You would think that is such a silly thing to have stress about, but I can tell you in complete honesty, this silly insignificant part of the reception has made me want to curl up in a ball and cry more times then I can count.

Here are the issues:

Pros:
-Every wedding I have ever gone to growing up had one, and it was my absolute favorite part of the reception because I got to have that special moment with the bride/groom.
-It would give me a moment to spend time with guests more personally then just going around to the tables and saying "hello."
-My family really wants one.
-My side of the family expects this and is coming prepared (apparently this is how people help pay for honeymoons - which is not something I knew).

Cons:
-Will's family thinks its tacky and has never had one.
-Will has serious anxiety about the thought of having to dance one on one with people he doesn't really know.
-Will does not like to be the center of attention.
-The entire idea makes Will completely unhappy.
-I'm not 100% comfortable with the thought of begging for money from guests that have likely already brought gifts and have traveled near and far to be a guest at my wedding.
-The entire idea makes Will completely unhappy. [this needed to be listed twice, because it's probably the biggest factor]

As you can see from the above, it's sort of a clashing of cultures.  Will and I have both been cornered about this numerous times, by numerous people.  I think the day we announced our engagement we were cautioned to stay away from "tacky and undignified" traditions because our guests would be offended and we would regret it.  No joke.

The funny thing to me, is that the money part of it really isn't a factor at all.  I know that this is a tradition our guests would be familiar with, so I highly doubt anyone would be offended, other than those that will remain nameless, and who have very vocally already addressed the issue.  The part that makes me sad about the idea is not getting to have that time with my guests, since it was so special for me as a guest to experience it.

HOWEVER, the whole purpose of this entire day is about becoming an "US" not an "I."  Therefore, I can't really make a decision to make other people, or even myself, happy, knowing how perfectly unhappy it would make my husband on OUR day.  He is a shy person, and he gets physically ill at the thought of being the center of attention for any length of time (another reason we are keeping our parent dance short and doing it at the same time).  I have to respect this.  I DO respect this.  The last person I want to be miserable is my husband on our wedding day!

So no, there will not be a Dollar Dance at our wedding.  And no, it's not because we were told it was tacky.  And no, I will not regret not having one.  All I want is for our day to be as meaningful and special as it can, and I refuse to ruin it by forcing him to do something that he does not want to do.  Period.  If that means I have to give up something, that's okay because the entire foundation of successful relationships is based on compromise, and there are so many little details he has stood back and let me take control of.  I will give him this.  He deserves to have a say, more then anyone else.  And I love him. So I really can't think of a better reason not to have a Dollar Dance.  And after hearing said reason, I am sure you all agree.  Or, if you don't, then you will at least respect how difficult a decision this was, and understand.

.:150:.

Shoe Dazzled!

So maybe I wasn’t the best with the sharing of wedding projects yesterday.  As you could tell I was a little overwhelmed by everything that is going on.  To that end, I did want to share a very large accomplishment with you all.  I finished a shoe!  My right shoe is finished. YAYYYYYY! I know, I know there’s still another one to do, you nay sayers, but after 11 months (or maybe 8 hours in total) one of these is finally done.  And she looks fabulous!  Here’s our photoshoot:

Yay for the Breakfast Club in the Background!

And there you have it.  Righty is allll done!  (Did you see my mom's, I mean, my left shoe in the background.) hahahahahaah

The 5 Month Mark...OR...The Other "D" Word

Holy Canoli! Seriously... 5 months? Didn't I just do the 6 month post like 3 days ago?  Bride brain is in full effect, but it is also in the midst of an epic battle with stress induced procrastination.  That was a mouthful of words.  In a nutshell, bride brain is the equivalent of your brain turning into swiss cheese.  You can pretty much only focus on wedding related things, and everything else becomes some sort of black hole in your brain.  You forget things, like what day it is, that you're cooking dinner, that you should probably go to work in order to pay for said wedding... yea, it's ridiculous.  I think this is a clinical disease.

As it is, I have a weird sense of procrastination.  Actually, let's back up, stress has a weird effect on me.  It can either make me uber paranoid and focused, so that I knock out projects weeks in advanced, just to get away from the stress. OR, as seems to be the case right now, I get these lovely blinders and just completely forget that I actually need to be doing something.  So those 5 hours I spent watching "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" yesterday are a clear indication I have gone down the wrong path.  I wish I was living in my other paranoid world.  At least then I could feel more confident.

I managed to spend about 3 hours yesterday organizing what I jokingly refer to as "Wedding Central," but is really just my Grandma's idea of Hell (read: dusty clutter pile a 'la hoarders).  Okay, maybe it wasn't hoarder status, more like the stock pile definition from Extreme Couponing: "the only thing that separates hoards from stock piles is dust... a very thin line of dust." haha.  I got so overwhelmed just ORGANIZING the supplies for these projects, that I sort of started at everything for awhile and kept finding reasons to wander into the bedroom to play with Scooter.

Anyway, back to weddings.  I feel as though I am constantly hacking away at this to-do list, and the silly thing never seems to go away.  Just this last week I spent about 4 days on our program inserts.  Just formatting and finding the right font, and figuring out how the pagination was suppose to go.  Why did this have to take 4 days?!?!?!

This brings me to a new revelation about myself:  Delegation in not something I excel at. I have figured out why this is.  Actually, let me back up again.  I cringe when I think of passing off projects to other people.  More then once, or twice... people have asked why I don't get a group together to do projects.  Well, I figured out the answer.  It's two-fold.  First:  I worry that they will not care enough to do the projects the way I want them to.  I am not talking bow tying, because a bow is pretty standard, but I do require a certain level of attention to detail.  This mean getting the sticker as close to center as possible.  Or cutting the ribbon the right size. IE: the same size as the other ribbons.

You laugh, but this has happened to me, and I only have a finite amount of supplies and finances, so I am left with projects that are OBVIOUSLY messed up.  Why would I go to all the trouble to work on things myself, just to do a half-assed job?  Its like punishing yourself for caring in the first place.  And I am the only one invested enough to meet this demand, as I have learned.

Second: people let you down.  This is akin to House's mantra "People lie."  It's simply the truth.  I do not believe this out of some mean spiteful place in people, I simply think its human error.  People in their heart of hearts mean to do well, but inevitably, they let you down.  They don't do what they say they will, they complain when you ask them to follow up on a promise, or as I am learning and which is probably the worst feeling of all, they are so envious of your status that they subconsciously begin to sabotage you.  Seriously, laugh if you will.  Just wait until you get married and watch and see what people start to say and do to you.

I think the combination of these two things has me living in constant fear of having anyone other than my future husband working on projects.  I would hand things off if I could, honest, but this bride brained compulsion, mixed with the horrifying truth of human nature has turned me into an OCD Monster.  I just can't let go.  And I just can't trust people.  This makes me incredibly sad.

During such a happy time in my life, I wish there were more people I felt I could lean on and share things with.  But here's the truth they never tell you: people don't care about you and your life (read: wedding) as much as you do.  PERIOD.  They may humor you, but $20 says they're off in their happy place while you ramble on about invitations and the importance of Scriptina v. Mutlu.  (if you know what that is, you have been a DIY Bride.)  Its not that they don't care about YOU, its just... well after hearing you talk about yourself for 4 hours straight, they need you to be their friend too.  And with bride brain, you just don't remember that.

So perhaps this is why my nearest and dearest have gone into hiding.  Or maybe they are simply preoccupied with their own lives (gasp) but the truth is, when I look around, they aren't around me.  I'm not bitter about this, so please don't read this as a complaint.  This is simply something I can come to learn about myself, and my inability to delegate my Hydra.  I wish I could trust in people enough to hand off the equivalent of my baby, but truth is, when I feel like I found a task to share... there's no one around me to lean on to share it with except the person I'm going to lean on for the rest of our lives.  And that's okay with me.  Even if I have to be a stressball for the next 5 months.